Wanted...A magical fairy, for 4 days, to come and clean my house, throw a party for my husband and bake a birthday cake (sugar free, yet yummy), insure that the tooth fairy comes, fix the washer and do 7 loads of laundry, fill my kitchen with food, install a toilet, Lo-Jack my baby's pacifier, apply cream to his heat and dust rash, change 7 (rough estimate) dirty diapers a day, bathe 30 fingers and 30 toes and everything in between, wipe tears and noses and make sure the house doesn't burn down...oh, yeah, and clean the baby poop off of my last pair of clean pants! Will pay with smudgy finger prints and peanut butter kisses. Please send your resume ASAP!
To Whom It May Concern:
ReplyDeleteI would like to apply for the advertised position. Let me say first that I am not actual a magical fairy, but I have been known to perform magic tricks and there are a few gay pictures of me floating around in tights and a ballerina costume, so I hope that comes close enough.
I do have (oh nothing...just) 11 years, 8 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 25 minutes, and 8 seconds experience being married to the world's most beautiful and talented wife and mother.
If you would let me, I would gladly take over the responsibilities you mentioned.
I only require that for those 4 days, you must have fun, get some relaxation, have at least one frivilous conversation, eat at least one cookie, one piece of cake, and one piece of candy, sleep in as late as you can, and ditch at least one of the sessions on the retreat to do something like draw a picture or go on a walk by yourself.
Sincerely,
April's Fool aka April's Boyfriend aka April's Un-secret Admirer aka April's Lover aka The Flower Who Knew Your Name ((((((xoxoxox))))))
This post is made even more awesome by the first comment :D
ReplyDeleteAwwwww, so cute :) Love it, Joe.
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing a smile to my face on a day that smiles were hard to find! I love you both. Hopefully, April had a great time at her retreat and Joe fulfilled all of April's dreams. I only wish you lived close enough that I could have applied for the position. <3
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog! Looking forward to reading and following :)
ReplyDeleteCan I borrow your Fairy?
ReplyDelete