A Thief in the Night

It's spring break and since Jubilee doesn't have school, we seized the opportunity to skip town.  A few days ago we said goodbye to Cairo and our cat and headed off in the direction of the Red Sea.  We asked our Boab (building attendant) if he would feed the cat and water the plants while we were gone.  I thought he would enjoy this job because he is obsessed with making sure that my house plants are watered, especially the ones on our balcony.  Almost every time I see him he mentions it.  "Madame Yusef, you have to water your plants.  When did you water them?  You must water them every other day".  The truth is, they are our left over Christmas trees that I thought would be long dead by now.   Anyway, he was more then happy to help us out and we handed over our precious key. 


It was the first time we have given anyone our key, and as much as I trust him, I was a bit nervous about it.  I pictured him and the cat sitting on the couch eating pop-corn watching Clifford the Big Red Dog again.  I couldn't help but wonder if anything would be missing upon our return.  Of course I felt better when realized that nothing of great value was in the house anyway.  I couldn't dwell on it any longer because the sea was calling us.  We piled into the taxi and drove away with visions of sand castles and powered donuts, from the hotel's breakfast buffet, swimming in our heads. 

On the way there we saw a herd of camels and the sky changed from smoggy grey/brown to a beautiful blue hue.  The weather and company of friends refreshed us.   The beach was perfect for the kids and once a day, when the tide went out, the beach was scattered with marine treasures such as star fish, sea cucumbers, and hermit crabs.  Of course the time was much too short, and before we knew it, we sadly said goodbye to the sea and drove back to Cairo.


As we drove back the sky once again changed from blue to brown/grey.  We opened the door to our flat and carried in the luggage.  Everything looked in place.  Luke ran in to use the restroom and yelled out "Mom, someone stole the bathtub!"  I ran in to see and sure enough, the bathtub was gone.  Out of all the things I possibly could imagine, never did I think that we would come back to a missing bathtub.  

Yes, as you can see...someone stole our bathtub.  Of course, it didn't take long to realized that the landlady was having it replaced because we had a hole in it.  I guess she took the opportunity with us away to have it worked on.  I'm grateful, of course, but it would have been nice to have known ahead of time.  The good news is, it is filled with sand and I can sit in it and imagine that I am sitting on the beach by the Red Sea again.  If anyone is in the neighborhood, our bathtub is now on display on top of a trash heap next to our house.  Now the question remains...how long it will take to fill this hole in our flat.

Happy Easter Week!

Morning...a poem by Pauline Kalda

as if words could shed their skin

left bare skimming the air with "good morning"

between me and another walker

cold air striking our faces

entangled in other greetings:

Sabah el kheir

Sabah el fol

Morning of luck

Morning of Jasmine

Sabah el noor

Sabah el eshta

Morning of light

Morning of cream

call and responses

syllables carried bring jasmine to my breath

the voweling of light pulling me to the day...

A Pearl of Great Price...

My friend Laura asked me the other day if I had found anything interesting at the market...it brought a smile to my face because I hadn't that day, but I did the day before. Well, it wasn't at the market, so to speak, but at a little souk of a store between my flat and the market. This store is a grave yard of rejected clothing. It is practically like dumpster diving. I go there because I can find things like a 4 year old Gap tee-shirt with a mermaid on it that is sewn crooked to sleep in. Or perhaps things like knit shorts for Jubilee to wear under her skirts so she doesn't throw caution to the wind. Once, I found a cute little red galabaya (the traditional dress here) for Theo to wear.

I don't always do this, but since summer is just around the corner, I said a little prayer as I approached the store that went something like this..."Dear God...please let me find something cool to wear for summer...Amen."

Now, I must remind you that I live in a Middle Eastern, majority Muslim country. Anyway, as I thumbed through the bins and racks, what should my eye's behold? This beauty!

I asked the two covered women, attending the store, how much it cost. They looked at each other and snickered (practicality laughing out loud) saying that the cost was 30 LE, but that they would give it to me for 25LE (this is about $4.62 USD). Sold! I think they reduced the rate because they realized that I would probably be the only person who would buy it. Now I ask you...Is this God's divine answer to prayer, or just his sense of humor in letting me know that he hears my prayers?

He promised me it would turn my hair a beautiful raven black...

I literally sweep up one to two pounds of dirt everyday off my floors. I bought this mystery cleaner from a peddler that came to my door a few months back and it is truly amazing stuff. She dropped a few drops on the floor in my outside hallway. If fizzled and worked its magic and now I have a sparkling white spot to remind me of how dirty the rest of the floor is. My husband was more impressed then I was, so we bought a bottle in hope to remove some pretty stubborn spots around the house. Of course, those spots outside were just driving my "Mr. Clean" crazy and he used half the bottle trying to get the outside hallway clean. I had moved a cupboard in my kitchen this week only to reveal tile covered in black, caked on dirt. A perfect opportunity to use the other half of the bottle. The only thing is, this is seriously a magic "If you give a mouse a cookie" product and before I knew it I was attacking the, what could be past off as black grout but is really white, on my floor. I think I must have been high on the fumes of this product. Anyway, after intense scrubbing with fizzy and a steal wool, my grout refuses to turn white. Now only parts of it are white and parts are black. This only makes it look dirtier then before. Although, I know in a month it will all be black again. At least it is clean dirt now. Any advice on cleaning grout is most welcome. Should I try something else or just be in "D-Nile"? It is Egypt after all.

The Fam Pack 4 and my New Best Friend

My dear sweet husband took a group of 8 men to an oasis 5 hours away, so the kids and I have been 'roughing' it without him the last couple of days. Luke and I had the pleasure of being invited to the Maadi House, which was great for him. He dug in the sand, played with friends and had a great swim time. We came home, ordered dinner, took early baths, and cleaned rooms. I was inspired to make play dough, which they played with this morning. By the end of the day, they were so tired and went to bed very well. Then the tooth fairy came and visited Jubilee and then took a bath and painted her toe nails. So Far, roughing it isn't that bad. Also, I have found my new favorite condiment...tastes just like Taco Bell hot sauce. Who needs American now? Oh yeah...In-n-out!

Theo

Yesterday was the first day that Theo didn't crawl at all. He's a walker and climber now. I can't keep him off the table and he is getting faster and smarter. He has also started screaming at the top of his lungs if he wants something. Gotta love those milestones!.

A Colorful Lunch...

Yesterday, the boys needed to get out of the house. I took them to McDonald's so that they could play in the play area. I have been frustrated lately because Cairo is seriously lacking of good parks and play areas. With 2 small boys, running around is a must! We ordered lunch and sat outside to wait for our food.

As soon as our food came, a little girl, maybe 2 or 3 years old, sat down on the wall beside our table. I thought she was just curious about "the Americans" and tried to ignore her. 'Maybe she belongs to that woman a few tables down', I thought to myself. After a few minutes, I realized she didn't. She sat in silence watching us eat. I wondered if I should offer the little girl food right away or wait until she asked.

I have found that there is something about someone watching you eat that makes you less hungry. My burger stuck in my throat and I attempted to wash it down with a gulp of Diet Coke. Maybe she wasn't hungry, maybe she just wanted to make a new friend with my son. After awhile a cat came and sat down under my chair.

I tried to talk to the girl in Arabic "where is your mother?"...she said nothing. "What is your name?", she replied, "Selma". Later, I tried to call her by that name but she didn't answer. I don't think that was her real name. Anyway, there they sat, her and the cat, for about 30 minutes just staring.

I finally asked her if she was hungry and extended my son's uneaten hamburger. He was off having the time of his life playing with a group of Jr. High Sudanese school girls that overtook the play area. She look around, as if she felt guilty, and then took it and left to sit at an empty table. When a McDonald's worker came around to clean the floor, she quickly ducked into the play area to remain unseen. Then, when the coast was clear, she returned to her table. The crumbs on the floor were swept up by the worker, and the cat left too.

As a mother, my heart went out to her. My children needed a "Play Area", she needed food. Here was a little 3 year old girl helping me put my attitude and priorities of life in check. I know nothing of her life or what her life will be like as she grows up. She did have on clean clothes, but no shoes. It was obvious that someone cared for her, but where were they? It saddened me.

I thought to myself, even though I might not know here real name, I know of someone who does. People, like Selma, are always adding new colors to my picture of life here in Egypt. As do the Sudanese girls that played, so lovingly, with my little guy. Even the street cats add a bit of texture. Someday, I hope to see the final work of Art...I bet it will be beautiful.

Happy Egyptian Mother's Day

In honor of the Egyptian Mother's day coming up on March 21st, I thought I would post some pictures of my mother getting up on a camel. Sorry mom, I know you won't disown me for posting these because I am your only daughter. Love you!

A Small Debate

The other day, while chatting with a group of western friends, I made a comment about Egypt being a male dominated society. One person responded that he felt like the opposite applied and in fact, Egypt was a female dominated society. When he said this, I couldn't help but think of the story of the blind men that stumble upon an elephant. Each describing the Elephant by what they felt. This led to a small, friendly discussion which ended with the conclusion that it is neither male nor female dominated but rather a gender separated society. I have been filtering situations that come to mind this week, through this conclusion to see if it holds true.

In the West there is a predominate stereotype for Middle Eastern Muslim women. Labels such as "oppressed", "weak", and "victims" are passed around without much thought. While I feel like this may be true in some cases for women in general, I can't say it is always the case here in Egypt. I have met some very strong Egyptian Muslim women. In fact, when it comes to their home lives, "ain't no one better be dis'n the Mama".

Now, outside the home, it's a man's world full of public urination and scratching. Men hold the job market in their hands and have certain rights that women do not. This week there is a lot of press about women Judges being barred from influential Egyptian courts based only upon their gender. This could be seen as both Male/Female separated as well as Male dominated.

Two stories have kept me from truly accepting the former over the latter. There was a young woman who was hired to work for a friend of mine. She was very happy for her new opportunity and each day she seemed to arrive at work happier then the day before. It was as if she had found a new meaning on life. On her second week of work, in tears, she had called my friend and told him that she could not work for his company anymore. When my friend pressed further, she confessed to him that she had been sneaking out of the house to work and that her family had found out and refused to allow her to continue with her job.

The second story is of a friend of mine in her early twenties. It had been several weeks since I had heard from her. I found out that there had been a huge family conflict in her home and she had left to spend sometime with her Aunt in another city. Because of the ongoing conflict within her family, as well as her age, her family is ready to marry her off and be done with her. Being a young romantic, however, she is devastated about an arranged marriage and wishes to marry for love. With this in mind I don't know how anyone could even think this isn't a male dominated society, right?

Then I realized...I had been assuming that it was the fathers who were putting the restrictions on these young girls, but after much thought, I realize that most likely it is the mothers controlling and oppressing these young women.

Which leads me to ask, Why do they do this? If I were to guess, I would think it is because of the hardship that they themselves endured during their teens and twenties. Who's to say how long the circle of women oppressing women has been spinning or how long it will continue. Should something be done about this?

In conclusion to this "conclusion", I do believe that Egypt is a gender separated society. However, women's rights aside and looking at my own equal rights/mixed gender culture, I can't help but wonder if this is a pro or con of the Egyptian culture.

Camel Bump Hijab

Here is an example, as requested, of the Camel Hump hijab (I borrowed this photo from here).

Dressing the Part

As I mentioned before, it is getting hot here. Usually with warm weather comes cooler clothes, right? Yeah...not so much in Egypt. The fabrics, however, do change from heavy acrylic sweaters to lighter polyester tops and pants. As I browse the shops at the local mall (not City Stars), I can't help but wonder how do these lovely women do it. It is common to see women my age in full veil, gloved hands and all, during the middle of summer. I break out in a sweat just thinking about it.

The younger girls seem like they stick to the rule fashion over comfort (as in many cultures). The "IN" style right now to wear your hijab (or scarf) with a camel bump. kind of like the poofs girls in the States are wearing in their hair. Middle Eastern fashion is sometimes known as "Hijab Style" (see hijabstyle.blogspot.com for examples).

To achieve true "Hijab Style", you need to layer about 3 scarves on your head and secure them with top secret knots or pins that don't show. Next, add your long sleeve undershirt with your long over shirt and a long skirt or pant or maybe even a dress, stockings (so your ankles don't show), a fancy bag and the newest ballet flat or cute kitten heel and you are set to ride the micro buses all over the city.

Once in the home it is a different situation...off comes the layers and you are free to roam around with your tank top and spandex shorts. The exception to this is when the door bell rings, then on goes the layers or you could just throw on your house gallabaya (long night gown looking dress).

In my opinion, gallabayas, in the right material (and for a non breastfeeding mother), are the way to go. I had asked my friend if it would be a little strange if I, as a foreigner, went out in a gallabaya like most of the married Cairo women wear here. She replied in Arabic that it wouldn't be a little strange, it would be VERY strange. I didn't confess to her that I actually did this once because she had just told me this story of when another foreign woman went out in one and everyone laughed at her.

This leads me to a perplexing question. What should foreign woman, living in Cairo, wear during the summer? Now, I have to say that I have put together many "missing the mark" outfits during my time here (see images). The women here are way more stylish then these photos. Fashion aside, I have learned that the best thing to wear is cotton...loose, long, and flowing!

Since cotton skirts are a bit see through and wearing a slip is a bit hot, my great idea this summer is the wrap pant! I am going to have some cotton pants with a faux sarong built in (or maybe removable) in the same fabric made. I will let you know how it goes. They may end up on my "I missed the mark" outfit wall of fame. PS-I have been told that red, like the color I am wearing in one of the pictures, is the color that people who are about to be executed in Egypt wear.

Fall, Winter, Spring, and Normality?

We have been sending our 4 year old prince charming to an Arabic speaking pre-school. Our hope was that it would provide a place for him to throw rocks and sticks at other kids and just to be a boy (I'm kidding about the rocks and sticks). We also thought it would be a great place for him soak in, that tongue tying language, Arabic. The transition of living in another culture has been a bit too much for him and after thinking and praying about it, we decided the benefits to home schooling him far outweighed the benefits of sending him to school. I mean, it's pre-school right?

This week has been my first week of having him home. I love it! I missed the little guy and he is really fun. I do have to say that it is a lot more work for me. He is such a mess maker and asks for a "peanut butter and honey sandwich with a glass of chocolate milk" every half of an hour, but he plays so well with his little brother. I do see a HUGE need for a schedule and some preparing on my side. I may have to make a bunch of sandwiches and freeze them, or buy a jug of milk just to add chocolate in it so I don't have to mix it all the time.

The other big change with week is that we have decided to cancel the house keeper. I wasn't really happy with how clean my house was when she left and it just feels strange for me to have someone cleaning for me. I do think that there are times I truly need help, but I also have a husband that doesn't mind the occasional house work and has great elbow grease. To my surprise, I am almost enjoying cleaning my floors twice a day. I think it is bringing normality to my life. I know how to clean and be a mother and in a country where everything is different, it is nice to hold on to things like these. Am I crazy? Maybe, but after being here 6 months I am trying anything to crawl out of transition and dreadful culture shock. Hopefully these new changes will help.

Who needs Chuck E Cheese?

I love how Egyptians celebrate birthdays. First, you need a DJ with HUGE woofer speakers and lots and lots of Arabic Music. Second, you need a person dressed up in a want-a-be Winnie the Pooh costume or the front end of a horse. Add a microphone that sounds really muffled, a couple dozen kids with their covered and veiled mothers and bearded fathers and there you go. I mean, who needs the pressure of awkward silence or that dreaded lull in the conversation. In fact, who needs conversation at all during a party. If you friends don't show up, that's alright there are enough kids in the neighbor hood to go around. So hat's off, I say, to that special little munch-kin who was celebrating their birthday today at the mall. PS: Winnie the Pooh never looked so scary.

A Time for Everything